5 Ways to Avoid Donald Trump in Los Angeles

If you want to avoid the nightmare-inducing possibility of a Donald Trump encounter when the GOP candidate is in Los Angeles on a campaign run, by all means steer clear of Beverly Hills, where he owns a mansion, and Rancho Palos Verdes, home of his Trump National Golf Club.

On the other hand, here are five places in L.A. where, rest assured, you will never, ever run into The Donald.

1. Attend a service at the Islamic Center of Southern California
Although Trump said he wants surveillance of certain mosqueswhich he perceives as terrorist threatsyou can bet he won't be the one doing the spying.

Therefore you're unlikely to find him at the Islamic Center of Southern California in Koreatown, west of downtown L.A.. This mosque welcomes American Muslims and everyone else, and offers religious services and educational programs.

2. Pause and reflect at the Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine Temple
"Love him or hate him, Donald Trump is a man who is certain about what he wants and sets out to get it, no holds barred. Women find his power almost as much of a turn-on as his money." —Donald Trump

Visitors to the beautiful, 10-acre Self-Realization Fellowship Lake Shrine Temple, just off of Sunset Boulevard in Pacific Palisades, are encouraged to spend time wandering the serene grounds and meditating. The ultimate goal is self realization, defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary as "fulfillment by oneself of the possibilities of one's character or personality."

You won't find Trump here, because he obviously believes he's already achieved self-realization.
The problem is, he's confusing self-realization with narcissism.

3. Go shopping at Hollywood Wigs
Whatever that stuff is on top of his head, it's real, Trump insists. "My hair may not be perfect, but it's mine," he once tweeted.

So don't expect to find him trying on some realistic-looking toupees at Hollywood Wigs, which bills itself as "the premier wig store in the greater Los Angeles area." It supplies hairpieces to many studios and celebrities—but not, apparently, The Donald.

4. Have lunch on Olvera Street
You won't see Trump washing down a taco with a Dos Equis at this historic L.A. landmark that celebrates the culture and history of the people who founded El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Ángeles de Porciúncula way back in 1781.

Here you'll find their descendants as well as recent immigrants—or, as Trump actually called them, criminals, drug dealers and worse. No es bueno.

5. Go bargain hunting at the 99 Cents Only Store
Trump is probably not even aware that U.S. currency includes pennies, so you won't see him shopping for discontinued canned goods, 2005's best-selling paperbacks and other cheap deals at this chain of discount stores.

However, if there were a 99 Million Only Store, that might be a different story altogether.

If Laura Goldman, a freelance writer and lifelong Angeleno, could say two words to Donald Trump, they would be, "You're fired." (Actually, that's her second choice of two words.) Check out her i Still Love Dogs blog and follow her on Twitter.

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