Five Ways to Avoid Donald Trump in Buffalo, NY

In case you've been living under a rock, you know that Donald Trump is one of the top Republican presidential candidates for the United States 2016 election. There has been endless dissection of his personality – whether you love it or can't stand it – and if you're in the latter camp, here are five suggestions as to where to go to avoid him in the event his campaign happens to visit Buffalo, NY. Of course, if you're the type who doesn't want to miss the chance to see a politician do something crazy, perhaps following his signature plane around the country is more your speed (he doesn't really do the bus thing).

1. Buffalo & Erie County Public Library
While the main branch in this 37-library system is the biggest and therefore has the most places to hide, any of the locations are perfect to avoid someone who has a problem with volume control. Bonus: the smaller branches can be a real adventure to find for anyone not familiar with the back roads of Western New York. From the city of Tonawanda to the town of Collins, leading Trump's entourage on a merry chase might have an unexpected benefit, should The Donald decide to expand his mind by getting a library card (although good luck arguing with the librarians about waiving the residency requirements).

2. Seneca Buffalo Creek Casino
Thanks to the revitalization of downtown Buffalo and Canalside, new business ventures have been popping up here and there. The Seneca Nation of Indians added their Buffalo Creek Casino to Buffalo's Inner Harbor area in 2013 and has since planned a $40 million dollar expansion. As Mr. Trump has declared bankruptcy for two of his casinos (but hasn't declared personal bankruptcy – an important distinction!), probably the last place he wants to hang is a casino that's raking in the cash. Although it might not be such a terrible idea to study a successful business model, either.

Flickr, Amy Halligan

3. El Ranchito Mexican Restaurant
Donald has some, shall we say, colorful opinions about our neighbors to the south. Some of his now-famous quotes don't exactly endear himself to Mexicans (although he's been nice enough to make blanket statements about the entire Latino community as well). This is actually a good thing for anyone craving lunch or dinner from any number of Buffalo's authentic Mexican restaurants, because places like El Ranchito have plenty of margaritas, baskets of nachos, pages upon pages of food from which to choose, and an almost zero chance of Trump.

4. International Institute of Buffalo
With a goal to help refugees establish new lives in Buffalo, the International Institute of Buffalo has opened its proverbial arms to the citizens of the world escaping from war and/or persecution in their native countries. Not only does the IIB provide food and clothing, but it also offers school advocacy and employment training. Since The Donald has – on many occasions – expressed his unedited thoughts regarding the U.S. taking in refugees, it's a safe bet he wouldn't pay this place a visit during a Buffalo tour. So not only is there the potential to hide, but you might volunteer some time and lend a hand to some scared and displaced people as well.

5. Grady's Barber Shop
When Donald Trump enters a room, what's the first thing you notice? The hair, of course. Donald's mane has taken on a life of its own since, well, seemingly forever. Conspiracy theories abound as to exactly what's going on up there; is he balding and utilizing an odd comb over? Is it a toupee? Or is he covering up a surgical scar? Whatever the well-kept secret is, one thing is certain: he's not getting it re-shaped any time soon. So when choosing places to evade detection by the Trump brigade, this old-time barbershop is a great find. From a simple cut to the works (complete with a hot towel razor shave), you can even throw a birthday or bachelor party, and bring along all of your friends who need to stay away from campaign madness. The best part? Grady's is a "cash only" establishment – and you know The Donald never carries anything less than a platinum card.

Kimberly Mintz is a writer and voice actor who lives in the Buffalo area. Find her on Twitter @KimIsWriting.

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