Spring Break 2016: The 5 Worst Possible Places to VisitReady to take a break from all your hard work during the school year and spend a week of unsupervised debauchery in some faraway beach town? Yep—you and everybody else. Of course, if you're still relatively new to this great American rite of passage and have no cool friends that will show you the ropes, you may not know which cities to visit and which to avoid.
Luckily, there are a few that you can rule out right away, for various reasons. Let's take a look:
The perfect stop if you're a living caricature of a college student, Cancun isn't what it used to be, and as the economy took a downturn, many hotels and and other amenities closed. It is still a popular tourist destination, though, which makes it a touch overpriced, and there are certainly cheaper and less cliché options if you are looking to hang out in Mexico. The sun is free, after all.
Perfect alternative: Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. This is one of the cheaper beaches to have your vacation, and the partying atmosphere is a little less insane than Cancun. If you're looking for something more mellow and more cost-effective, you might want to give this a try.
Want to get gouged as a tourist and overpay for all your living expenses while you're on vacation? Want to stand bumper-to-bumper in heavy traffic on your way to some theme park and have everyone in every lane try to cut you off as soon as you start inching towards your destination? Well then, you need to visit Orlando!
Perfect alternative: Cocoa Beach, Florida. Drive an hour or two to the East (depending on where you've been lurking in Orlando), and you'll reach this popular beach destination. It's much more open and less crowded than Orlando, and is a great surfing location. Not to mention, you're allowed to drink at the beach, which is kind of a spring break necessity.
Ready to have people judge you because your six-pack is hidden under a few layers of lard and your spray tan is a few weeks overdue? Add crime, heavy crowds, and terrible traffic and you'll wish you were in Orlando again.
Perfect alternative: Fort Myers, Florida. In a lot of ways, Fort Myers invented spring break. There are tons of activities there, with less of the massive, year-round crowds of Miami, and less of the snootiness. If you're looking for a truly quiet beach vacation, though, you might want to keep heading north for a bit until you reach Punta Gorda, Florida—it's a haven of old people, rich people, and rich old people.
San Diego, California
More and more, the police have been cracking down on spring break-related activity, like drinking on the beach. If you can't drink on the beach and get away with it, what's the point?
Perfect alternative: South Padre Island, Texas. Everything's bigger in Texas, and so are the kegs at the beach.
Many beach towns in Florida are full of old people, and while there's nothing wrong with that, it might not be the kind of party you're looking for, and Clearwater is a central location for retirees.
Perfect alternative: Fort Lauderdale, Florida. It can get loud and crazy, and it has plenty of drag shows to watch. While there will always be those of a wiser, more advanced age milling about, chances are they'll be looking to back it up on the dance floor alongside you.
So, which will it be? Choose wisely and enjoy your time while you have it. Spring break will be over soon.
Slack is from Utah, born and raised. He especially loves the outdoors, the cold weather, and eating great food.