These Are The Worst Possible Places to Visit for Spring Break 2016

Spring break. It's all about beach parties, beach bodies, beach volleyball, and, well, alcohol. But what if your idea of a good time doesn't involve baring your pasty-white winter pooch while taking selfies and drinking like a fish? We can't all have golden-god tans and six pack abs in March. So here's a list of five hot, overcrowded, bikini and bro-ridden destinations to avoid this spring break. Coming up with destinations to avoid was easy - all we had to do was consult everyone's favorite news source: Fox News.

Panama City Beach
This one is simply mind-boggling. Alcohol is banned on the beach this year, yet a quarter-million spring breakers will flock to it anyway. Huh? Do yourself a favor and go somewhere else. Visit nearby Apalachicola for a remarkable seafood dinner, then head over to historic Pensacola for a drink.

Myrtle Beach
Myrtle Beach was ranked #3 by Coed (warning: not the classiest website) in their "America's Top 20 Trashiest Spring Break Destinations 2015" list. Enough said. We recommend visiting Kiawah Island instead. Featuring expansive beaches and a nature preserve, Kiawah Island is about as far away from "trashy" as you can get.

You've heard the Will Smith song. Miami's reputation precedes it. To get away from this party city, head north to Hollywood. North Beach is a nice, quiet alternative to da club, and you can rent canoes or kayaks at West Lake Park.

Las Vegas
Vegas, baby. There are no beaches to speak of here - being landlocked and all - but pool parties galore make Sin City a spring break madhouse. Take a gamble and cruise down to Henderson instead, where River Mountain trails await. This area is great for hiking, cycling and even bird watching.

Cancun, Mexico
Cancun's pretty and all, but with a sub-21 drinking age it attracts hordes of teens. You don't want to witness a bunch of 18-year-olds on their first big booze binge. Instead, go to nearby Tulum where you can explore Mayan ruins and snorkel in underground caves.

Brandon Fralic is a Bellingham-based writer and photographer. With a focus on the outdoors, travel, and craft beer, he has contributed to a handful of publications including Washington Trails and Outdoor Project. Visit his portfolio for more info.‚Äč