Diets be damned: 7 Seattle meals worth every calorie

Whether you're from Seattle or visiting from afar, it's hard to deny we've got a great food scene here. Chefs and restaurants are doing really cool stuff, using local ingredients, preparing meals that are wholesome and healthy...

*record screech*

Sometimes you don't want to be all wholesome and healthy and stuff, ya know? Sometimes, you want a meal that's pure indulgence, that disrespects the five miles you ran this morning and that lays you out with grease coursing through your veins. These are some of the best fried, cheesy, breaded, greasy meals in the city if you're into that sort of thing.

Photo via Pixabay

Beth's Cafe 12-Egg 'Triple Bypass' Omelette

Everything about Beth's 12-egg omelette screams cardiac arrest, but that doesn't mean you should opt for some fancy brunch with egg whites and gluten-free toast. If you want a brunch that sticks with you, there's no better choice than the 'Triple Bypass,' filled with bacon, sausage, ham, Swiss cheese and American cheese. Even if you don't order it, your mouth is watering now, right?

Lil Woody's Pig & Fig Burger

Any good diet-smashing list of meals has to have a burger on it, and Seattle has some damn good burger joints. Personally, I prefer Lil Woody's pig and fig burger, which is silly indulgent but makes me feel a bit better because, ya know, figs. Figs are fancy. They're fruit. They cancel out approximately 0.05% of the unhealthiness in the rest of the burger. Or so you should tell yourself.

Photo via Gail on Flickr

Bacon Mac & Cheese at Local 360

Local 360 is known for sourcing good, local foods and ingredients for their all-around awesome menu – including those that go into the indulgent bacon mac & cheese. Massage your stomach knowing you're supporting locally sourced producers and restaurants.

Chicken & Waffles from Fat's Chicken & Waffles

It's called Fat's. And they serve fried chicken and waffles. There are more carbs than anything else in the meal. What more do you need?

The Poutine Flight at the Angry Beaver

Trust a Canadian bar to have not only poutine options but a poutine flight. Try three different kinds of poutine to determine which most pleases your gut. Or, go all in and add poutine to their burger. You can even feel a little bit better knowing they're Beecher's cheese curds, so it's sorta like eating local and that means it's healthy... right?

Photo via Pixabay

Late Night Burgers from any Dick's Drive-In

Every time we mention Dick's, people get up in arms about how it's not that good and isn't there anywhere else in Seattle you could possibly think to mention???? The point in recommending Dick's is never to suggest that it is the end all, be all of burgers – or even cheap burgers – in Seattle. It is, however, a Seattle icon, and stopping in just before their 2am closing time at least one point in your life (probably after you indulged in some delicious adult beverage) is worth the calories. Mic drop.

The Seattle Dog after any game at Century Link Field

As you stream out of Century Link Stadium post Sounders/Seahawks match, there are a lot of vendors offering hot dogs at an unbeatable 2-for-$5 price. My personal favorite is Joe's Gourmet Dogs, where you can go all in on a spicy dog with cream cheese and grilled onions. It's weird and the rest of the nation doesn't get it, but it just works. (P.S. No one will judge if you buy two for yourself.)

Valerie Stimac is a Seattle-based travel writer whose favorite cheat food is nachos.... or tot-chos, depending on the restaurant. You can find her writing on Travel + Leisure, AFAR, and her blog, Valerie & Valise.