The 15 best meals that will make you fat AF in San Diego

Are you the type of person who counts calories, chugs kombucha and just feels better eating a raw diet?

If yes, get the hell off this page. This list is not for you.

This list is for those looking for a compilation of San Diegan meals that are so good on the tongue but so bad on the body. The foods that make you realize that life is meant to be tasted — and why gluttony is by far the best of the seven vices.

Tiramisu pancakes from Café 21

Pancakes generally belong in the toast category of breakfast foods. Sure, you can get a sweet starchy high from them, but they're rarely something that blows your mind.

Enter the tiramisu pancakes from Café 21, a tall stack of cocoa-batter pancakes topped with espresso syrup, powdered sugar, maple syrup, mascarpone, fresh cream and berries (to fool you into thinking it's healthy).

Maple bacon cinnamon roll from Donut Bar

Just because we're Americans doesn't mean we can't pay tribute every now and then to our friendly neighbors up north. At Donut Bar, order a cinnamon roll with strips of bacon spiraled inside and topped with maple syrup frosting. It's the closest thing to grabbing a moose by the antlers and riding it into the forest, just like the Canadians do.

Brick toast from Up2You

This toast is so thick, the mere sight of it might kill a celiac. Gorge on gluten by ordering the brick toast from Up2You. The crispy on the outside and fluffy on the inside honey toast can be topped with ice cream, strawberries, syrup, condensed milk and Nutella.

Andy's sage fried chicken Benedict from Hash House A Go Go

You'll want to come with an empty stomach to Hash House A Go Go and order Andy's sage friend chicken Benedict. This hearty dish comes with a fluffy biscuit topped with tomato, fresh spinach, mozzarella, smoked bacon, mashed potatoes and scrambled eggs. Really, though, you can't go wrong with any of the sage fried chicken dishes from this farm-inspired restaurant.

Cabeza completa from Aqui es Texcoco

This dish isn't for the faint of heart or those who only eat their meat when it no longer resembles a cute wittle animal. The cabeza completa (complete head in Spanish) is a full lamb's head served on a plate with tortilla, salsa, lemon and onion.

Carne asada fries from Jalapenos

Jalapenos is a small and unassuming eatery tucked away in the Carmel Mtn. Plaza. Don't let the humble exterior fool you, this place serves the best serving of carne asada fries around. This dish is a box of French fries topped with beef, cheese, guacamole, onion, pico de gallo and sour cream.

Carne asada tater tots from Bull Taco

Carne asada dishes originated in San Diego, so it makes sense to include another variation. This inauthentic Mexican stand serves classic carne asada on a bed of tater tots topped with jalapenos, guacamole, chipotle sriracha sauce, onion and pico de gallo.

California burrito from Lucha Libre

Picture it: 14" tortilla packed with avocado, French fries, cheese, steak, shrimp, fresh veggies, and chipotle sauce. If you show up wearing a lucha wrestling mask to match the restaurant's decor, you'll even get a discount.

Triple threat pork sandwich from Carnitas Snack Shack

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, right? Get on with your pork self by pigging out on the triple threat pork sandwich at Carnitas Snack Shack. This beast of shredded pork loin, bacon and chopped pepperoncini relish between two buns will have you squealing in delight.

Almost lasagna from Sicilian Thing Pizza

Almost lasagna is for indecisive visitors who can't decide between a traditional pizza or a pasta classic. Why not indulge in both? Almost lasagna is thick pizza filled with piles of meatballs and ricotta cheese. The vegans will hate you for this one.

Double bacon cheeseburger from Hodads

Two patties, cheese and bacon slices topped with mayonnaise, mustard, onion, pickles, ketchup, tomato and lettuce makes up the best burger in San Diego sure to wreck that sexy beach bikini bod after one bite.

Spicy mac and cheese from Tornado

Getting burnt and turnt is the name of the game at Tornado, where you can order a bowl of mac and cheese that'll be turning your mouth into a fire pit. This creamy dish is made with macaroni mixed with chipotle, pasilla peppers and habaneros. Choose from tens of beer options (including jalapeno cheddar) to help cool you down as you power through.

Mississippi mud pie from Betty's Pie Whole Saloon

Time for some southern comfort at Betty's, where a Mississippi mud pie is sure to be a winner. The chocolate shortbread crust is filled with chocolate pudding, marshmallows, brownie chunks, butterscotch and topped eloquently with chocolate drizzle. You might just die of happiness (or type 2 diabetes) after this.

Big fatty sandwich from Fat Sal's Deli

Finish the big fatty sandwich from Fat Sal's Deli and you'll be rewarded with a free meal and a custom spot on the fat sandwich section of the menu. This beast costs $50 and comes with cheesesteak, cheeseburgers (yes, plural), pastrami, bacon, mozzarella sticks, fried eggs, fries, onion rings, chili, marinara, sauce and served on a 27" slab of garlic hero. Any questions?

Calzone from Luigi's at the Beach

Their football sized calzone stuffed to the brim with ricotta and mozzarella cheese, then fried and baked for warm, crispy deliciousness. After it's out, you'll get a heaping pile of marinara sauce on the side to dunk it in. Eat the whole 12" and it'll feel like a touchdown.

Chantae Reden is a travel writer from San Diego who believes life is too short to eat kale. You can find more writing on her blog,

Lead image courtesy of Thai Yin from Flickr.