It's always shaken, not stirred at this Chicago spy bar


Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to head to the River North district of Chicago, where Milwaukee's renowned spy bar is now tickling your espionage fancy right here in the Second City. You might expect Emma Peel to come out of a fog-covered alley near 60 E. Ontario St., but only gaslights and an International Exports LLC placard signal to you that you've arrived. You are about to enter the Danger Zone.

SafeHouse Chicago
SafeHouse Chicago

Do you have the password to get in? James Bond certainly would. Okay, so you aren't James Bond (as if you needed someone to remind you), but if you don't have the password to SafeHouse Chicago you aren't out of luck. After all, they don't believe in keeping a weary agent stuck on the tough streets of the Windy City. You will, however, have to take a little clearance test to proceed. Don't worry; it won't hurt your ego—much.

SafeHouse Chicago
SafeHouse Chicago

When you enter the twisting, turning top-secret lair of this spy bar you are now under orders from a higher power known only as Control. You won't be able to uncover much about this Big Brother, but he's always watching you as you make your way through SafeHouse. Whether you are running away from corrupt agents or just your annoying coworkers, the name of this downtown Chicago restaurant says it all. It's a scrumptious and delightful refuge filled with Cold War antiquities, an Instant Alibi Photo Booth and an actual piece of the Berlin Wall.

SafeHouse Chicago
SafeHouse Chicago

SafeHouse Chicago also cooks up some from-scratch eats made right on the premises, because no good spy can subsist on TV dinners and martinis alone. Enjoy mouthwatering and hand-breaded Fried C4 Cheese Curds that boast only the freshest of cheeses (because those Wisconsinites know how to do cheese right). From a Goldfinger grilled cheese and a Double Agent burger to Blowback BBQ Ribs and Mata Hari's meatloaf, there is something to quell your insatiable hunger.

SafeHouse Chicago
SafeHouse Chicago

While this spot might be the perfect location for a covert meeting with clients over lunch or a secret little rendezvous with a Tinder date, this is also a great destination to bring your little spy in the making to prove that adults can still be pretty cool, too.

SafeHouse Chicago
SafeHouse Chicago

It's time to make espionage your second language and visit SafeHouse Chicago. While the woman sitting next to you at the bar might not like being called Money Penny, you can still sport your best 007 suit (just remember to practice that accent before trying it out in public—or after a couple Spytinis) and be a real Man of Mystery here. Remember, even the very best spies need to kick back and relax at some point, and what better place to do it than at SafeHouse?

This article will now self-destruct in 5...4...3...2...


Stephanie Andrews has called Chicago home for 10 years. When she's not eating...err, writing...you can find her stunt doubling for film/TV or making her own cocktail bitters.