Ten hideouts to dodge spring break 2017 in Baltimore

If the roar of spring breakers sounds like nails on a chalkboard to you, welcome. This guide will help you ditch the spring break shenanigans in Baltimore. I've included 10 stops that will help you relax and detoxify yourself. You'll also be protected from harmful UV rays, outrageous drunk college kids and waking up to a random naked dude in your bed.

1. Enoch Pratt Library

Andrea Wright/Flickr

This is one place you can guarantee spring break won't find you. Gather together whatever you need to chill out for an entire afternoon, maybe even browse through the erotic novel selection (everyone likes them, they are just afraid to admit it) and hide in a corner nook. Relax, meditate, do anything you want, just be thankful that there is a 100% guarantee you won't find belligerent 20-somethings and tanning oil in your cozy nook. Relax, unwind and be happy you won't be hungover when you leave.

2. Chesapeake Wine Company

How can you go out for a drink without having to deal with all the hype and commotion of the spring break night life? Take a trip to Chesapeake Wine Company. This small shop has local wine, beer and liquor selections as well as a wine bar in the middle of the store for small bites and a place to kick back and enjoy a fine glass of wine in peace.

3. Landmark Theatres

This theatre breaks all the rules of your average movie theatre. Landmark allows drinks from the bar and snacks in their theatres. So if you want to get drunk and not be seen by anyone, this is the place to do it. Midday movie theatres are especially empty so that is the best time to sneak in and grab a big comfy seat and a mojito for each cupholder. Your skin won't get sunburned here and you can even drift off into a pleasant afternoon siesta.

4. Bohemian Coffee House

This place goes beyond your typical coffee shop. They proudly grind up and roast Zeke's coffee and they homemake all of their desserts and baked goods. Since you won't be squeezing into a swimsuit you might as well load up on all the sugar your heart desires. It's a small, quiet shop with 1950s inspired artwork and peaceful vibes. You may stumble across a few poetry writing hipsters but you will most certainly dodge all college kids with raging hormones.

5. Illusions Bar and Lounge

Avoiding spring break doesn't have to mean staying cooped up in the house. It's all about knowing what this amazing city has to offer. Illusions is unique in the sense that its central themes are comedy and magic. So if you're feeling up to it stop in, have your mind blown and few laughs while you're at it. It's not exactly a millennial hang out, so the risk of a spring break invasion is very low.

6. Annabel Lee Tavern

If you want to take your S.O. out for a romantic date or have a few drinks solo without getting hit on by a bunch of drunk pervs, plug this spot into your GPS. It's a little bit off the beaten path in Canton but it's worth a trip to experience this hidden beauty. This tavern is straight outta Baltimore and is proud of it. Edgar Allen Poe themed artwork and decorations adorn the walls and you can bet your ass if the O's are playing every screen in that place will be lit up orange and black. It's a classy little spot that will give you a chance at romance without cleaning out your wallet.

7. The Peabody Institute


There are lots of student groups/classes in the performing arts at the Peabody Institute that sell tickets to their annual performances for cheap. If you're trying to spend an evening with class check out the dance performances. You can soak up some culture without maxing out your credit card. The auditorium is dark and also has a crap load of seats which makes for another great hiding spot. You might even impress your sweetheart with your interest in the finer things in life.

8. Teavolve Cafe and Lounge

If you can make your way over to Harbor East while staying under the radar I suggest trying a bubble tea at Teavolve. The vibes are super chill as you walk through the front doors so no one will get all up in your grill. They also have low key live music Friday and Saturday nights. If you order one thing off the menu, make it the red velvet pancakes. They are ridiculous.

9. Artist & Craftsman Supply

This quaint art supply store is the lifeline for art students in Baltimore. So basically it's a lot of hipster art students roaming around, but you won't be bothered by some dude in a muscle tee asking to buy you a drink. They have some pretty wild, artsy crap in there and random knick-knacks that might keep you occupied for an hour or two. I can understand why art majors are super hippies; you just have to give peace a chance, man. Don't be scared to fill up your cart and try your hand at making some dope art.

10. 2910 on the Square

If you want to get out and explore something new with your freshly established artist mindset, you should try shopping around in 2910 on the Square. It was awarded Best Emergency Shopping and Best Gifts on the Fly by Baltimore Magazine. They have some wild stuff in there and their inventory is definitely one-of-a-kind. Hopefully you can make it over to Odonnell Street without getting caught in a hot mess of slippery sunscreen and unwanted tan lines. After a long week of avoiding spring break you should treat yourself to something sweet. You've successfully avoided spring break and all of its unsavory issues.

Diane Peterson is Baltimore-born and has been published in Ask Miss A. Always stashed with emergency chocolate, she is on a mission to uncover the hidden gems of Charm City.